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 Mark Lehberg's MCIU 
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Posted:  07 Jan 2009 02:45   Last Edited By: marklehberg
Hi, I'd like to get people's opinion on this superhero novel I'm working on...

M C I U : MUTANT CRIME INVESTIGATION UNIT
BACKGROUND
MCUI CLASSIFIED FILES #01
In 1992 of February – December a group of individuals were born. They had genetic defects, which instead of physically or mentally defecting them, it granted them with huge abilities beyond any mere mortals. It was caused by an experiment by the government that tried to manipulate weather in order to solve the growing problems of drought through the world. As soon as these children were discovered it was decided that they would be raised by a host family of crime scene investigators in order to effectively use them in the future. No occasion has yet arisen that was necessary to bring them in. The children’s biological parents were informed that their children had in fact passed away due to difficulties. In 1994 MCIU was unofficially established and further down the track, some adults were also discovered to have some abilities. Out of fear, the MCIU informed the government to place these individuals into a maximum security mental hospital as the experiment had caused them to become mentally unstable and would pose a great threat to society.

Chapter One: Genesis
Genesis
WASHINGTON D.C., U.S.A
A man in a suit and tie sat at his desk, dully looking ahead. It was obvious he was depressed, although the President of the United States of America, Jeff Harper, was upset with the job he had done so far. He had signed a secrecy act which made sure he wouldn’t tell anyway about the secret organisation MCIU. They had told him what it stood for and it’s goal but he felt it to be wrong that the infants had been separated from their parents at birth. If it had been his daughter and he found out about MCIU he knew that his immediate response would be to take down the entire organisation and anyone else involved. But to protect his daughter now it was in his interest to keep quiet or who knew what they’d do to Rachael. He flinched as he thought back to the accident. His wife had driven little Rachael to the park and on her way back was tailgated by a drunk driver who happened to pick out her for no reason. One thing led to another and before he knew it, he’d received a phone call that his wife was dead and his daughter Rachael was barely hanging on. She ended up surviving and he was the only remnant of his happiness. Now that she was a teenager and he was the President, they hardly had time to spend with each other. She was either out with friends (of course chaperoned by a bunch of bodyguards) or he was out at a press conference. His thoughts were interrupted as his assistant rushed in breathlessly.
“It’s about your daughter Rachael”, he said.
Jeff’s stomach turned inside out, without thinking he got up from his chair, “is she alright?”
His assistant shook his head, “I’m afraid she's been kidnapped, sir”.
“What? By whom?” Jeff couldn’t think clearly, he couldn’t lose his daughter “what happened to her bodyguards?”
“I’m afraid they’re all dead”, the assistant shook as he spoke “something powerful attacked them. They tried to call in for backup, but...”
“Immediately contact the ‘Secret Service’” the President suggested.
The assistant shook his head. “As much as you may not like it, I think it’s time to call MCIU”.
The President flinched again. The organisation’s name was not to be used lightly. “Fine, contact them immediately”.
“As you wish, sir.”
Posted:  07 Jan 2009 02:49   Last Edited By: marklehberg
LOS ANGELES, CA
David Synate sat at his desk keeping his eyes on Belinda. She was popular and was the attention of all the tenth grader boys like David himself. She seemed to pay no attention to David but instead to Casey the star footballer. Ever since he was twelve years old, David had realised he was not like everyone else. Instead, he had the ability to “read minds”. Not like psychics but close enough.
“David!” It was Mr. Matthews his Maths teacher who woke him from his little ‘daydream’. “Could you perhaps explain to us why you were intently staring at Miss Burns here” he said pointing to Belinda. She turned back and for once noticed David, just like everyone else in the class. Casey was there too, giving him an evil stare.
“Was I?” David said stuttering “I was just trying to figure out your equation”.
Mr. Matthews knew David was lying and took him up on his explanation “so David, why don’t you tell us the answer?”
David reached out in his mind and pulled out Mr. Matthews’s thoughts, “the truth is Mr. Matthews, there is no probable answer”. Everyone went silent. Mr. Matthews was silent and gaping at David, he took a step back.
“Correct, David” he finally spoke “well done!” David smiled and received a wink from Belinda. Unfortunately, Casey had also seen this. David politely smiled at her and groaned silently as he knew what awaited him after school. Boy, am I going to get a beating he thought.

After school David went to his locker to collect a few books to study with. Awaiting him there was Casey and his two mates. They started laughing as he approached them. “Is there a problem guys?” he asked.
“Can you believe it?” Casey began shoving David into his own locker “the ‘daydreamer’ is asking me if there’s a problem”. Although it wasn’t a joke and equally bland in humour his mates still laughed. “Yes, actually there is a problem... you!” Casey punched David in the stomach and lifted his bed back up before he had the time to recover from the blow. Belinda ran up to the commotion as her face turned fearful.
“Stay away from my girl!” yelled Casey.
“Stop it, Casey!” she yelled at him. His face turned to her, David used this opportunity to deliver a right hook that connected with the jock’s cheek bone. Caught by surprise he stumbled back, before getting his mates to hold David up.
“You got lucky punk!” Casey landed a punch in David’s stomach. Unable to defend himself, David tried to suck in the pain. Casey then delivered an upper-cut followed by a left hook and another blow to the abdomen. His mates dropped David and kicked him for a while, whilst David still lay on the ground and walked off. “What a wimp!” Casey said as he and his friends walked away.
David barely stood up and turned to them. “You’re the wimp, Casey!” Casey turned back as did his mates and started back to him. Unexpectedly, David’s eyes turned black created a huge dark wind. Suddenly, Casey was pushed back and smashed through the window. His two mates were thrown to opposite sides of the hallway, hitting lockers and collapsing unconscious. As David returned to his normal state he realised that everyone was looking at him fearfully. He turned to Belinda who shook her head at him and rushed over to her boyfriend desperate to see if he was alright. He felt a heavy shoulder on his hand and turned around to face a dark-skinned man with neatly cut dark-brown hair and an unshaven face.
“David Synate?” he asked, David just nodded his head, “the President needs your help”.
Posted:  07 Jan 2009 12:31
Interesting idea to use the mutants as an investigative team.

I like the introduction of David reminds me of classic x-men stories where mutants first discovered their powers.
__________________
Posted:  07 Jan 2009 14:04
thanks. I will soon upload the others origin stories, i just need to tweak them a bit.
Posted:  15 Jan 2009 06:42
Hey everyone. View my blog at
Bloghttp://theedgeuniverse.blogspot.com/

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